Well, as of 20 weeks and 5 days ago I officially became an (almost) Mama. It also coincided with a few other big life moments – starting a new job, quitting that new job, going freelance and buying a new house. Surely adding in a pregnancy to that list wasn’t that crazy an idea…..
I have to be honest, while I can’t even describe the love I already feel for a human I haven’t even met and have only seen a grainy photo of his/her little growing body, I am not the ideal candidate for mother of the year. Pregnancy is tough and being the person I am and the job I do I’ve found it hard to be pregnant.
I’ve been lucky enough to escape most of the morning sickness some women get (sorry to all those ladies who did suffer through this ALL day sickness) and feel pretty much like my normal self, which is why I can’t understand people gasping and running to my aid when I pick up a chair or get up a ladder…. ok maybe I get the ladder thing with my belly putting my balance off slightly…..
I’ve had to give up football and take up pregnancy yoga, which is very relaxing and a lovely way to connect with your bump, but I miss the competitiveness and team spirit of playing football. And I can see my unrivalled 5 year top goal scorer position fading away….
My favourite leather panelled leggings no longer fit and that gorgeous Self Portrait dress I was going to treat myself with will stay on that shop hanger for another couple of years….
I sometimes lie away at night worrying about money and calculating how long I’ll viably be able to take off work. I’m fortunate enough to be freelance so can pick and choose how much work I take on when I do go back to work – but I worry about going down to one salary, especially with all the additional costs our new family will be hit by (although the savings along for not drinking wine for 9 months will almost counter that…).
I’ve also had the additional worry of being new to the freelance events world and not knowing if agencies are going to want to hire a heavily pregnant person…. will I be discriminated against for this reason!?
My weekends have got a bit more boring. My husband is amazing and plans walks around our new neighbourhood in South Norwood and activities which don’t involve me sitting in a pub watching and salivating over people’s glasses of red wine. But on the occasions where we’re in a social setting with free-flowing alcohol and friends, I do feel hard done by that he can enjoy a drink and I have to settle for an elderflower cordial.
No more smelly cheese and prosciutto… need I say more about why this upsets me? V. sad moment when I found out about proscuitto being on the banned list.
I talk about being pregnant all the time. I know it’s a big life changing thing for myself and my immediate family but sometimes I forget that not everyone is that interested. Please don’t let me be that wanker that doesn’t talk about anything else…..
While I talk about it ALL the time – I have NO idea whats I am doing and what I’ll need to do in the future. I am a total rookie and it scares me that I’ll soon be responsible for another human. A teeny tiny human who wont be able to tell me what they want or what I’m doing wrong. Is it wrong to hope that when the baby comes out they secretly replace it with a mamahood how-to-guide in its place?
Now, please don’t take this as ungratefulness for being pregnant. I feel extremely lucky to even have been able to conceive, let alone naturally and quickly (a little too quickly… but more of that on another post), but becoming pregnant doesn’t automatically mean you know what you’re doing and that you’ll love everything of what’s happening to you and your body.
Some ‘fun’ I’ve experienced along the way….
- My new bathroom smells awful…. only to me…. no one else can smell it, but standing in there for longer than 1 minute makes me gag….
- I dread brushing my teeth every morning… which due to the bathroom smell now takes place in the kitchen… if there isn’t enough water on the toothbrush or too much minty toothpaste…. up comes my breakfast….
- Maternity clothes shopping…. do I fancy wearing a sack or a body con which shows off my growing bump, but also my growing bum and cellulite!
- My limit of elderflower cordial in one evening is 4 glasses. After that I never want anything sugary again, but the thought of a plain water is just not fun…
- My only craving has been satsumas. I really wanted a fun story about the weird concoctions my body craved and how I was always sending husband out for fried chicken at 3am. But so far it’s just been satsumas.
But something tells me it’s all going to be worth it….